How To Defeat FOLO (Fear Of Losing OTB)

“That’s it. This is going to be my last game ever, I’m quitting chess.”

These words kept echoing through my brain during one of my games at the World Open, a big tournament held in Philadelphia every year. I’d just blundered a completely winning position, and even though I had more than five rounds to go, I felt like I'd already lost every game.

Over-the-board (OTB) tournaments can be incredibly rewarding but highly stressful as well. As someone who has experienced intense FOLO (fear of losing OTB), here are my tips for getting over this feeling, so you can play your best chess.  

Prepare Before Your Games (But Not Too Much)

Preparation in chess can be an extremely important tool. That being said, unless you’re at a very high level, openings aren’t likely to make or break your game. 

Going into games, I was often afraid of being blown off the board by move 12. My 1800-rated opponent definitely had tons of prep, did hours of Chessable courses, and dedicated days to studying openings databases… right? 

The amount of times this has happened to me is a whopping zero. Like most fears, this one exists only in our heads. 

That being said, having a repertoire of openings you’re familiar with can help ease this anxiety. It’s by far not the most important part of your training, but the psychological benefits of feeling prepared can be just as important as the preparation itself.

Fear Is Not The Enemy

Fear exists for a reason. It’s the body's warning system, keeping us alert and ready to face anything that could come our way. Up to a certain point, anxiety can help with performance. 

“Nervous energy can be powerful and turned into focus. My most anxious memories were often ones that turned out to be huge successes.” says the author of Chess Queens, WGM Jennifer Shahade. 

Nerves aren’t inherently bad, but it’s important to keep them under control.

Motivation Instead Of Disintegration

One of the hardest parts about tournaments is losing and then having to immediately turn around and play your next round. Anxiety after a game can manifest itself in several ways. 

The first way is to fill you with doubt and worry. "What if I’m playing poorly… how can I possibly win a game… I’m not good enough."

The second is as fodder for your next round. This means being able to say, “Okay, I didn’t get ‘em this time, but the next game is a new chance.”

This not only applies for after games but during them as well. Nothing feels worse than the anxiety of making a bad move or messing up a tactic. It's important to keep your cool because, in these situations, fear of losing can only work against you. 

One example of this is a game I played at the World Open. I’d been having a rough tournament, playing up every round, and being handed some devastating losses. If I could only win this game, I’d prove that I belonged here. All my training would have paid off. But there I was, with plenty of time on the clock, having blundered a rook due to a miscalculation.

Even worse, I had a forced draw after my blunder, but I was too upset to even see it. In my mind, the second my hand released the piece, I’d already lost. I had the black pieces in the following game:

The game was against an opponent rated over 2000 FIDE, and I really wanted to win. I knew I had a strong position out of the gate and rushed into a tactic to try to put pressure on his already low clock. 

I felt the burn of my blunder. Instead of looking for the game-saving move (that I did, in fact, have), I let the game fall apart. 

Fear of losing can be a great motivator, but it can also be the reason you let a game slip through the cracks. Let your blunders make you work harder instead of giving up. 

Question Your Brain

A more concrete tool to help defeat FOLO is to question your brain (literally.) Whenever you’re telling yourself something, it’s important to determine whether it’s a legitimate concern or just an anxious thought. 

How I do this is by imagining my brain is a totally separate person, and my inner dialogue is a conversation. 

Brain: You’re going to lose all your games, and everyone will have been right that you shouldn’t be competing at this level. 

Me: Who’s everyone? Why would anyone care about my games? They’re more focused on their own tournaments. Even if I lose every game, I’m playing up, and I can always chalk it up to a bad tournament. 

Brain: But everything you worked for will have been wasted. You’ve been putting all this time and energy in, and you aren’t even getting better. 

Me: That’s not true. Even my losing positions look much stronger, and I know that I’m more comfortable analyzing games. One result doesn’t determine my strength. 

It may seem corny but don’t knock it until you try it. 

Make A Playlist

Hear me out... This may be one of my favorite tips. Whether you're a Billy Joel fan or you prefer Kendrick Lamar, make a specific playlist that you listen to before games. 

A fun psychological trick is to also listen to this playlist when you're doing fun, relaxing activities, like playing a video game or hanging out with friends. Your brain will subconsciously associate these songs with good times.

While everyone has different musical tastes, some of my favorites include: 

• Can I Kick It? - A Tribe Called Quest
• Separate Ways - Journey
• The Spins - Mac Miller

It's hard to be stressed when listening to your favorite tunes. 

To Wrap It Up...

There’s a reason chess can be incredibly stressful. Unlike some other sports, you can play a perfect game, but one blunder decides the whole result. It’s also an individual activity, so you’re the only one responsible for how your tournament goes. 

FOLO can be exceptionally insidious, playing on these doubts and turning something you love into something you dread. Luckily, there are ways to minimize its impact. I’m saving the most important for last:

Sign up for a tournament. There’s nothing like jumping into the deep end to conquer your fears. So go for it and dive into the water—it’ll be worth it when you surface.