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The Feast of the 7 (Chess) Fishes

The Feast of the 7 (Chess) Fishes

NMChessToImpress
| 11

Hey Impressive Chessers!

Happy Holidays, and if you celebrate, Happy Feast of the Seven Fishes.

The holiday season is a time for feasting, and what better feast for a chess enthusiast than a table of seven “chess fishes”? No, we’re not talking about edible seafood, but the term “fish” in chess slang for players who might be, how shall we say this…swimming in shallow waters. Here’s a playful guide to identifying and defeating seven kinds of bad chess players you’re bound to encounter at your local club, online, or at your family game night.

We will start with our first fish, and each day I’ll add another. If you’d like, you can predict or even try to convince me to change one of my “fishes” in the comments. Make your case; the worst I can say is “no” 😊.

Fish #1: The Hope Chess Extraordinaire   Fish #2 The Mindless Simplifier

Fish #3: The Mindless King Hunter     Fish #4: Forgets Their Opponent

Fish #5: The Opening Memorizer Fish #6: ? Fish #7: ?

Is it a Trap or is it Hope Chess?

Fish #1: The Hope Chess Extraordinaire

  • Behavior: They make moves that rely on you overlooking something, hoping for a cheap tactic.

  • How to Beat Them: Stay alert for traps. Ask yourself after each move, “What’s the threat?” Once their “hopes” fail, you’ll often find they lack a backup plan.

For more on “hope chess,” check out my previous blog: Is it a Trap or Is it Hope Chess?.

Example of a Hope Chess Player:

Puzzle #1
Puzzle #2
As you may have noticed from puzzle #1 I was the hope chess extraordinaire 😔 it did lead to my quickest ever OTB game as my opponent resigned on move 7. But the point of this blog is to discourage this sort of chess depravity 😅 so puzzle #3 (below) is how I got stomped by an opponent, just 3 months after my 7 move win. The chess universe corrected itself!
Puzzle #3

Fish #2: The Mindless Simplifier

In the name of simplification, White got themselves into a position with 5 pawn islands, 4 isolated pawns, worse development including a King further away from the action
  • Behavior: These players are usually lower rated than you and think that by simplifying the game that they can nick a few points off of you with a draw.

  • How to Beat Them: It doesn't take much, let them beat themselves for you. When a player is just purposely simplifying, they are usually gradually worsening their position. After a few moves you might have built up a dominating position without breaking a (mental) sweat!

I used to be so concerned about how to beat lower rated players, gunning for a draw, that I used to play like Fish #3: The Mindless King Hunter. To see how I play now and 5 years after the Mindless King Hunter game click --> here

Fish #3: The Mindless King Hunter

Can you punish the Mindless King Hunter?
  • Behavior: These players are always after your King! Does the position call for it? How should they know, they just know that the object of the game is to checkmate the King and they are after it ASAP!

  • How to Beat Them: Accept the sacrifices carefully, they are usually unsound but they can be very tricky. Next, focus on neutralizing their initiative. Play solidly, develop your pieces, and remember: if their attack fizzles, you’ll likely emerge with a winning material advantage. Bonus points if you counter-sacrifice to throw them off balance.

Puzzle #4: Can you beat the Mindless King Hunter?

Don't Fear the Mindless Simplifier

Fish #4: Forgets Their Opponent

White Forget that their opponent also has their own aspirations to win.

  • Behavior: These players are all about themselves! Their plans are obviously brilliant because they thought of them 🤦🏻‍♂️

  • How to Beat Them: Make sure that you are on the lookout for their tunnel vision plans but be ready to shock these fishes with a plan of your own!

Puzzle #5: Punish the forgetful fish!

Fish #5: The Opening Memorizer

These players know just enough opening theory to get them into real trouble when they are "out of book" and have to play their own moves.
  • Behavior: They know theory up to move 20 but crumble when the game enters unfamiliar territory.
  • How to Beat Them: Play your game. As long as you know that your moves make sense and are furthering your play you will get them out of theory at some point. Once they’re off-script, their lack of understanding will shine through.

Puzzle #6: White has a chance to punish Black for knowing just opening theory to get them into real trouble! What move should White play?

Puzzle #7: Oops, White missed their chance and reciprocated Black's mistake. What should (and did!) Black play?
Here's the Whole Game Analysed
Unless marked with a "-CC" that analysis was done by @PhilomathBret

Stay tuned for the next fish tomorrow! Who do you think it will be? Drop your predictions and debates in the comments!

And most importantly...Stay Impressive!

NM Craig C.
linktr.ee/ChessToImpress



 

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