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Chess makes me depressed (serious post) I Need Help

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Radical_Drift

My only advice for this would be to slow down and think about what's causing your issues with chess. If certain responses of yours are triggered by internet blitz chess, it would be advisable to eliminate this gradually, so as not to have withdrawals. I think it could be a good idea to slowly but surely replace chess with another activity. Has chess subsumed all of your hobbies? That would be a bad thing. The only real solution is to find a way to focus on something that's not chess, and to potentially come back but with an emphasis on balance in your life. Balance is a key word here. I sincerely hope you get help with this problem.

stillday

I'm terrible at blitz.  Come to think of it, I'm not too great at standard either.  OTB at local clubs, I probably lose more games that I win.  Maybe that's because I started playing fairly late in life.

But, I really love this game.  Every loss is a lesson and sometimes it's the same lessons trying to work their way into my permanent memory banks. I have fun playing.  I like playing stronger opponents because they are more likely to punish me for my mistakes and I get a free lesson out of the deal.

I try not to focus too much on the win/loss ratio. I enjoy the games where it's a good fight right to the end and I didn't blunder away a lot of pieces. If I can give my opponent a good fight over the board, then I consider it a good game....regardless of the outcome. If the game wasn't fun, I wouldn't play it. Life can be frustrating enough as it is. 

I've also heard it said that some of the best blitz players also happen to be some of the best slow chess players.  Lot's of slow chess and analyzing their game has helped build up their pattern recognition ability.

PremiumDuck

hey Tom, I gave you some practical advice in #22 , I am sorry I was tired and wrote it just before going to bed. This morning I realized you are just a whiny little bitch looking for attention using a sleeper account. This of course makes you a double moron which I think you've already known all your life on some level.

This is exactly why I should be a mod: my ability to see through the trolls and their bs threads.

thegreat_patzer
Whip_Kitten wrote:

If he has a bona fide addiction, he's going to need a therapist. 

I've heard of many addictions- but addicted to losing chess games?   Idk... [skeptical].

Anyways, IMHO, reading here on this forum; I figure there are many many people that could use a good therapist.  some guys anger management... other guys are bullies... then those are those that odd couples just go on and on- fighting each other- they need couple therapy.

In short, the chess.com has SO many mental health issues there's not enough resources- if everyone paid for a premium account and erik paid for conseling!

instead MOST of the 1 million or so members of chess.com are smarter than you and I.  they do their playing without ranting, bullying, teasing, or callous joking on the forums.  ... yes.  I know. I'm mentally sick too.. for here I go another boring tl;dr post on chess.com.

----

@OP anyways it IS possible to enjoy chess. even if you are sucky patzer.  I am. You are. most people are.  I don't think you need a shrink.  you either need to look at chess diferently or quit playing. very simple.

you won't be a GM by feeling bad about yourself, bing playing blitz, or telling all the crazy people here that you aren't good at chess.  Capiche?  Good luck, either way.

thegreat_patzer
PremiumDuck wrote:

hey Tom, I gave you some practical advice in #22 , I am sorry I was tired and wrote it just before going to bed. This morning I realized you are just a whiny little bitch looking for attention using a sleeper account. This of course makes you a double moron which I think you've already known all your life on some level.

This is exactly why I should be a mod: my ability to see through the trolls and their bs threads.

you are one messed up duck, duck.  err Sir duck.

caronte1

seting apart the trolls , you dont hate chess , you hate losing , you are a perfectionist thats about all.

PremiumDuck

You are a loser face it ,be a man for Pete's sake. If you hate chess go do something else. Do you ask advice if you need a crap and then whine about which direction to whipe in ? I hope not, you just get on with it. Show some spine ,close your account today ,go do something else and come back when you have grown up to deal with losing some games.

Stop wasting the time of cc members.

And I am not trolling you man ( serious answer) you need to grow-up

thegreat_patzer

MOnsier (sir) duck.  Take a breath. Calm yourself. Repeat.  MR OP might just be a pimply kid truly Laughing out Loud right now. 

at any rate, he aint going to close his whole account because your steamed he's wasting your time. (serious answer).

PremiumDuck

I am not steaming man, 99% of the threads these morons start can be answered with the same stuff, so I have created 37 standard answers I just copy and paste whenever needed.

That was no.18 ...get a life 

thegreat_patzer

ok.

clever.  but just like in that other chess thread- I don't believe in uncreative, "cookie cutter" answers.  if we're going to say anything....  why not make it wierd and unusual?

one thing is for certain. we're going to here this rant again and again.  chess bothers people. they can't believe they can't just get interested in it- and get to elo 2500.

forgive the funny pics  I'm taking my own advice.  and you are being a little (don't you admit it) Loud?  maybe a little ridiculous. yawn- its late. fun to talk to you.  don't let the rabble get to you.

whatever you do end on a happy note. it makes the cartoon fun for the kids...

thegreat_patzer

@Ms Kitten; LOL.. that was to Mr duck.  this whole thing about addictions is too deep and serious for 2:08am on a sunday night (EST)...

KasparovsChessMate

Simply regard playing chess as a way to entertain. Relax while you are playing chess and enjoy each game you played. Playing is not for blitz rating but pleasant.

Squishey

Duck should take a chill pill. He's getting more butthurt than OP.

Xahmati

OP, maybe you should take a short break from chess. A month later your perspective might have changed.

VyboR

Stop feeding this troll.

He whines that this game is stupid, thinks that higher rating implies more intelligent (http://www.chess.com/forum/view/general/what-is-fun-about-chess), and is now attention w***ing with this thread.

Even if we must believe his about page, he is 34 years old. If he cannot mentally handle a simple game of chess, then he has far worse problems and should consult a counceler anyway.

X_PLAYER_J_X

I believe the main problem the OP has is:

He has undervalued his accomplishments in chess.

1653 in blitz is not a terrible chess ranking.

Some people have never even past 1300.

You are closer to Expert level than alot of people are.

Your correspondence chess ranking for example is 1826

If that ranking is correct you would be in Class A level.

Next level is Expert level.

 

Sometimes in life you have to take a step back in order to go forward.

In this case you need to take a step back and look at all of what you have accomplished.

TomPetty

Thanks guys for the supportive messages you have all left. (except for 1 or 2 rotten individuals in here that tried to kick me down further).

Good to see so many people being nice.

I don't know what exactly the problem is, chess or not.
Haven't played any blitz games since I posted the message that started this thread, because somewhat I don't dare too. It is weird 34 and still can't handle losing (ah well V.Korchnoi couldn't handle losing when he was like about 70).

Luckily when I lose I just have that feeling for 5 minutes and then I am ok again, itjust doesn't feel healthy to have it every day (even for just a few minutes a day),   for rest of your (blitz playing) life.

Thank you. 


 

DOloop

TomPetty, I used to have such feeling for much longer that 5 minutes. Time to time I became a real chess fan: reading books, solving puzzles and playing. To some point I saw myself improving and was quite satisfied unless I made a blunder, trying to be more focused in every game just led to making more and more blunders... eventually I got completely frustrated and usually decided to leave playing chess. But anyway after several months I was trying to solve some puzzles or something else and it started again...

Now I am 34 and when I lose I think it is a bad luck or that I am just too tired from chess and need to have a rest.

Zeppah

Remember: You only feel as bad when you lose as you feel GOOD when you win!

X_PLAYER_J_X
Zeppah wrote:

Remember: You only feel as bad when you lose as you feel GOOD when you win!

I have to agree with Zeppah even if I feel very very bad lol as soon as I win a game with one nice tactic. It makes all the loses disappear. lol