Caro-Kann (Massachusetts Gambit)
Looks terrible... you're opening up the kingside but you're even slower in development then you would be in the dutch and c6 is a pretty useless move in these positions. The dutch is already hard enough to play after e4, this opening is just dumb tbh. If you want to play f5 against e4 early on you'd do much better just playing the latvian gambit where e5 is a much more useful move than c6.