The "No Queenside" Opening (Funny)

Have you ever thought that your opponent is so trash that you only need your kingside to beat them? Or maybe you wanted to flex on your friends because you took your opponent's queen with your king within the first 8 moves? Well, fear not, because this opening for black will literally remove your entire queenside, as well as guarantee you a queen capture on the 8th move!

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Potential resolution. This is the No Queenside Resolution variation:

In it after black sacrifices the queenside white sacrifices their queenside, making it equal equal.

Or you can do the no queenside watermelon variation

Or the No queenside watermelon resolution variation-

Or the Knight variation-

If you're that bad, that's sad.