You can't, end of story.
Ok, I meant with king by itself. Two kings stare at each other for all of eternity and it's a draw. HOWEVER, the way you obtain the "killer king" award is by the king moving out of the way for a discovered checkmate OR a castling checkmate (which are both very rare).
I will no longer read or react to posts in this thread but I will expand a little on my own since there are some point of interest.
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One warning: In the case of delivery by a unit (piece of wood)...
"piece of wood"... did he forget about plastic pieces?