It seems like I'm not cut out for chess.

I spend a lot of time reading chess books and studying to become a better player. I'm just getting worse. I hit 1300 in rapid, and I started thinking I was actually good at this game. Wrong! After the few days that got me to 1300, I've gone back to my normal performances. Bad. Keep dropping to 1100's and losing quite pathetically. I study and study and try really hard to take my chess to the next level, but it's hopeless. I have 1 good day of chess a week and the rest of days are me playing like a complete amateur. It makes me wonder, how the heck did I even reach above 1000 when I play worse than 800 rated players a lot of the time. I'm hanging pieces and falling for simple tactics. No matter how hard I try, it feels as if it's not meant to be. Maybe my brain can't handle chess? I do have adhd and dyslexia so focus and alertness really is a problem for me. Sometimes I feel like giving up, but I always come back because I love the game. It's frustrating though. I'm getting angry when I play recently, and I'm not enjoying it as much. I think I lost the plot.

You sound good to me; just a bit frustrated with the process. The average chess rating is something you are already WAY higher than:

It sounds to me more like you are suffering from chess burnout, or some forms of chess tilt. I realize that the next video I'm about to recommend is almost an hour long, but it is super helpful information; think of it as an investment of your time. This video less than an hour could save you many hours if you even get a few more chess wins because of it, since you won't have to spend time recovering rating you lose from other games:

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Relax, and think about enjoying the game.

Don't make a tragedy if the results don't arrive. It is the process of studying and learning in itself that still provide pleasure.

You need strategic chess!

Improving Your Chess - Resources for Beginners and Beyond

https://www.chess.com/blog/RussBell/improving-your-chess-resources-for-beginners-and-beyond

You sound a lot like me. Ask KeSetoKaiba how much I've complained to him about my chess performance. I've done so much studying, and watched so many videos on YouTube to make my head spin. One thing that helped me is I started playing on both lichess and chess.com. I do practice games on lichess more regularly than on chess.com but when I do play on chess.com I really try to focus with no distractions. I also just started using a chess board a long side my online games. For me having the physical board there helps me calculate better and see threats. Granted you burn more time, but if you're playing a 15 or 30min game, you'll have plenty of time. Having the board also makes it more fun and I don't mind losing my lichess games, if there is something to learn from them.

I've thought about using a real board, but I never got around to it. I might give it a go with a higher timer control. There's something about over the board that makes calculating easier.

You're worrying about online ratings too much. Join my Federation and you will never have to worry about online rating again. The key is to play bots only and only small percentage of your game must be full game from start to end, the rest should be practicing, with frequent take-backs and also practicing different board set ups like various endgame configurations. You must also completely avoid blitz & rapid because they teach you little and take lot of your time and energy. I mean even with bots it's good to use time control and pick at least something like 45 minutes per game for each player. But no need more than 60 min at your level imo.

When I started doing all this I have progressed tremendously.

Says the 300 elo

Bots are trash, there’s no use training against them, and @basketstorm, you just keep playing against Martin. And playing real chess is with real people, what do you mean playing blitz or rapid is bad? The point of chess.com is to play with other people around the world, not mindless bots.

I'm not 300 Elo (plus any sane high rated chess coach would tell the same) and you should stop stalking people checking their profiles this is creepy.

Look at this: https://www.chess.com/club/anti-cheating-chess-federation

WHAT DO YOU MEAN CHECKING OTHER PEOPLE’S PROFILES IS CREEPY?

And if you really think you’re soo good at chess, then why not challenge me and see how you do?

Look, not all bots are same, maybe chess.com bots are unreliable but beyond chess com there are dozens of bots. And I play other bots too here (I can name Wally, Wendy from recent) but I never take chess.com bots seriously and I know they have flaws.

You should understand that it's usually not possible or very hard to distinguish a bot from human. All your hints are:

1) userpic

2) absolutely silly nickname

3) random move time

4) bad sportsmanship (stalling, abandoning, verbal abuse in chat or just silly smileys)

That's all what constitutes "human play".

The point of chess.com might be anything but playing online chess against humans has absolutely no point.

By asking me what's wrong with blitz or rapid you only demonstrate your lack of knowledge about chess and how to make progress in chess.

I don't play online pvp, only OTB and engines.

“By asking me what's wrong with blitz or rapid you only demonstrate your lack of knowledge about chess and how to make progress in chess.”

So you’re just avoiding playing against me

Then what is your ELO OTB?