create the most stupid chess pieces!

for the original creating pieces, go here.

this is a contest for the most stupid chess pieces. either insanely op or does nothing at all. or even killing both of the players.

rules(important please read)

1. no copying from the link above.

2.no copying from each other.

3. don't post anything longer than 100 lines, or it will be judged as spamming.

4. have fun!!!!!

1. the Coward.

Begins on 2nd rank, moves left or right 1 square or backwards 1 square, can be "checkmated" like a king

the professional. punches the player if they don't play best move

The pawn-of-stupidity- which only moves...wait, IT WON’T!!!!!!!!

the bisopknight. switches from a bishop to a knight every turn.

the queenking. switches from a king to a queen every turn.

 

the Shark2636

Creates other pieces from this thread while the game is on. At move 15, it makes a Shark2636 bender.

The rock. There’s four of it in the centre, and… you can move it with a pawn, only pawns and they can’t be captured, they are just… rocks

The jolly fat man: he moves like the queen but when some piece captures him he will explode all pieces in a 3x3 square radius.(Also he can self-destruct if wanted but only when he eats a pawn can be opponent's or your pawn) 

Note that he can blow up the king to win.

Self-destruct queen: If it has not captured any opponent piece after 5 turns, it will remove itself from the board

Upside Down Rook: Can move literally anywhere and outside the board! Can capture the king and cannot be captured.

Duck: automatically makes its owner win. Obtained if you move a flank pawn at the start. Sidenote: not stupid

The loot. There’s only one and it starts at a random spot of the board (it is never placed where it can be captured on the first move) . It cannot be moved by either team but it can be jumped over by any piece. It can also be captured, in which it becomes either a shield, a sword, or a second king for the player that captured it. These three pieces can be placed anywhere (except where there’s already a piece, or for the second king where it would be in check) on the board by the player who owns it in place of a move (like crazy house). 50% of the time it will become a shield. It can be attached to a king of they meet on the board and acts as a disposable defense- if a king with a shield is checkmated it is safe for a single turn because the shield blocks the attack. 40% of the time, though, the loot will become a sword, which acts the exact same as the shield except it’s blocks also kill the piece attacking as well as itself. Finally, 10% of the time it will be a second king, which is just another king that has to be mated.

The ricochet pawn. This pawn never promotes. Once it reaches one side of the board it turns around and comes back. Can only be captured at either end if the board.

The toilet. It’s at its own separate compartment on the left and right side of the board (depending on whether it’s white or black). If a piece reaches the compartment, all of the pieces it has captured before are added to the opponents bank (so it’s basically just crazy house in this sense but more difficult since the pieces have to reach it.) if a pawn promotes it still keeps its capture history. If you take a piece that has taken some of your pieces without making it to the toilet, you get all of the pieces. You can also spend a turn having a piece give another piece it’s capture history. If a piece tries to use the toilet within five moves of a piece with a higher material value using it, it is swallowed into the toilet. Any pieces that are can be rescued by a piece with higher material value than what is trapped in total. For example, if two pawns, one black one white, were to get stuck in the toilet, a queen could gain both pawns by going to the toilet. However, if two rooks were trapped, a queen could not save it, and if it attempted to it would be swallowed as well. A pawn can be promoted into a plumber that can save any piece in the toilet, though it sacrifices itself in the process.

The Sorcerer:You can make this piece turn into one of your captured pieces as long as it is not captured itself. This piece cannot be moved.

Duck leader: chekmates other king after moving the duck to any position

Human: Can destroy duck

Grass: Not really a piece, but a square. Every piece that moves into a grass square becomes stronger, but only while on that square. Grass squares are in e4, e5, d4 and d5