Yes, a stupid one, but back in high school our chess tream tried to make our slogan, "We know how to use our pawns to mate," unfortunately the administration wouldn't let us put that on our shirts....
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ha ha , that's quite . . . an interesting one!
I'm not really suprised they wouldn't let youz, school administrations are trying to stop the human population from reproducing, it's a conspiricy i tell you!!!
There was a really good book translated from Russian that was full of gems. The style of the book was to give you a position and an option of 4 moves to play. Then it would explain which one was right and why the others were wrong. I wish I could remember the name of the book, but at least I remember one line:
"If you chose this move, you've been watching too many Westerns recently."
It's funny on the face of it and even funnier when you remember that this was translated from Russian and wonder what the original author actually wrote and how the translator came up with translation.
ha ha that's a good one
someone should do western chess actually
like a draw, whoever moves their piece first after the count of ten gets to keep that move...
maybe...
haha
I guess I thought chess was a intense, stare off-y game too, but is it really?
I remember playing chess against one of my friends in the morning when I was still half-asleep and mumbled, "I co'l've 'mated your king wi' me queen if your piece weren' blocking the opening... " And my friend/opponent, being the sort of person they were, let out a great "GAHAHAHA!" and that made me sorta realize the strange - innuendistic, if there is such a word - way that sentence was structured.
There's other ways to mess with your opponent's mind, I found out that day. Heh.
It describes the King's part and it goes like this... The King operates at close range, he sort of waddles around and hits things with his elbows. . .
Why does that remind me of batman? Sorry, I just saw The Dark Knight (and it was awesome).
I love it when authors use colorful language to describe chess, and go way above and beyond, its great.
Anyways.
I was playing this girl and I said "I''l go easy on you for a few moves" and she said "No, I want you to go hard on me in the opening.." (i know someone made the opening joke already but this is a double pun)
But it doesn't have to be vulgar to be funny:
After 200ish pages of how to use the Trrasch as black the author says:
"Need some fuel for your nightmares? This game, one of the greatest demolitions fo the Tarrasch of all time, shold be studied time and time again.."
I just think that sounds pretty badass.
In relation to a position where white has a very strong bishop:
"And white's monster bishop is breathing fire on the a1-h8 diagonal"
In some other book:
"You shouldnt play Ne5 here, because then black will remove your last defender, and administer his draconian rule all over the chessboard without restraint."
In a game of bughouse (2 boards, 4 people, 2v2), where my friend had 4 knights but nowhere to put them:
"Aaah..so much horsepower, but no room to gallop!"
On another note, I have always imagined the king carrying around a gigantic sword and just cutting his way through the battlefiled (near the endgame!), or carrying a big hammer like that one King in the movie Troy.
Any thoughts on how you all imagine the pieces fighting? The pawns are pretty clear, give a guy a shiled and pike/sword, and kinghts are like the arthurian knights, shining armor and all. And now bishops. Since when is a bishop good enough at fighting to rival a knight, or a foot soldier? Maybe they are like shaolin monks or something. Or do they just call upon god to strike their enemies?
Rooks: An elephant, with an archer on top, like lord of the rings.
And lastly, the fair lady. Why is she better at fighting than the king? Maybe an Amazon...
Just some thoughts.
ha ha, i have never before realised such innuendos...
:(
funny though, i will forever see the king as the actual piece just with elbows and duck feet, pawns are so ducklings!!!!
and the bishop are geese,,,
i realise this makes me seem a little obsessive about lake animals... but i'm not . . . ooh the queen should be a swan, explains the power those things can break your arm if they hit you...
yea i guess so. swans are quite powerful. just look what happened in "Leda and the Swan". enough said.
Jul 30, 2008
0
#10
mike_y wrote:
yea i guess so. swans are quite powerful. just look what happened in "Leda and the Swan". enough said.
I just knew Leda and the Swan was coming next. Only I thought it might be Fireflie who carries the Irish-Yeatsian torch on that. Good job.
I think Jeremy Silman has some pretty good lines, though I'd have to locate them first. Don't remember them off the cuff.
I renember someone told me this last year if u knock over your knight by accident with a pawn you should say why'd u crash your mustang?
speaking about jeremy silman, anyone know how the 4th edition of Reasess Your Chess is? Cuz many of the problems in the 3rd edition were plain wring, and Silman admitted that he didnt use an engine to double-check his work when he wrote it.
nice !! Pam ty for sharing !!
thewolf72 wrote:
wwhat is ty?
nice !! Pam ty for sharing !!
wwhat is ty?
ty is thank you.
thanks i'm not very good with short hand!
lmfao...that was an attempt at a joke... i apologise.
I like all of them……………much funnies………lol………MUSTARD
random... hi.
Aug 27, 2008
0
#19
Fireflie wrote:
ha ha , that's quite . . . an interesting one! I'm not really suprised they wouldn't let youz, school administrations are trying to stop the human population from reproducing, it's a conspiricy i tell you!!!
its a good idea!! lol
Has anyone ever read the book Killer Chess Tactics?
Well there's a hilarious line in it that just has to put up here somewhere.
It describes the King's part and it goes like this...
The King operates at close range, he sort of waddles around and hits things with his elbows. . .
I was laughing for ages when I read that because I had approached chess as a fairly serious game.
Anyone got any other funny lines like that?
Fireflie:D