For example "... my braincells are on strike, both of them."
I became a CHEATER because...
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Or "... my IQ is 200... minus!"
"... I was not breastfed."
"... Im not actually interested in chess, I like to break rules and get away it; Im also a selfish jerk who don't give a crap about other players experiencing grief and degraded ratings."
"... of Darwin's evolution. Although I lose every single time in chess without S-Fish and Komodo, I have managed to win a "Blunder Pageant" and've got the title of "Miss-InglinG.
This 1 is mommy 
If you wonder why I was not breastfed, well as you can see mama does not have any milk to give. Oh Maamaaah... why oh why... 
"
I sometimes wonder whether "cheaters" are simply chess engine designers benchmarking their program for certain levels of play... Maybe some of the "cheaters" caught by chess.com are actually part of their ongoing engine development.... But this is just pure speculation on my part…
Failing that, I remember the old Marvel comics from the 70s and before, used to feature advertisements for men unhappy with their height. The remedy were these special insoles that raised you up a few inches. I suppose engine users avail themselves of a similar idea related to their "chess intelligence".
Dear Mr. Zig Zag as a philosopher your words should be carved on gems with gold. However the game must be obeyed. So I say: "I became a cheater because... and please... do add more gold to the gems. Much obliged! 
athlblue wrote:
"I wanted to become the fastest animal on the planet"
And ... I wanted to be part of the the fastest growing cancer tumor as well. Heheee" 
athlblue wrote:
"I wanted to test those anal beads"
Oh ho ho ho... THIS 1 takes the price for the best 1 so far!!!
You my friend, are nothing short of a miracle. How did you come up with that? It is totally awesome! Eheheeee.
This 1 is for the annals of history, at least a bit's for the beads. 
Besides, there was this guy who said: "I cheated because that "intel inside" made me feel like a "NEW MAN"
Today I played a real-life "cheetah" or what I use to call a "LØSER" and missed the golden chance of having him giving his "angle" so we could be enlightened on "why?"s. After playing me through an engine he asked, as he pressed the button, for another 1 and I turned him down by this words: "First turn the engine off!"
Here is the game. Just click on "LØSER"
Jan 7, 2024
0
#17
I have no dignity what so ever and I would like to make others' lives a misery and be an absolute donkey
My friend @Pouelle asked of me to play this video. There were no "8 second" song, so this the best I could do!
PS. "When I started this post right here with this song, THAT cheater was still playing. As I had finished this post, he was banned!"
Wuhhhaaaaaaaaaa
Most his moves were on 8 seconds, there4 this song!
... I was born in a village where everybody was related in multiple ways. (Inbred Joke)
Why people play chess? Well, because of human insecurities where you want to show off your brains and that sort of thing. However being a cheater in chess is another matter. You want make-believe to others that you are smarter than what you really are. Now since the cheater is obviously not very well-equipped in the matters of skill&mind-fortitudes they must have a legit reason for their shortcomings and how they take engines into the game of chess to make themselves go larger.
The game is as following: I'll start by saying: "I became a CHEATER because..." and you the rest, will finish the sentence as you please.
This is just a fun game so please have fun and nothing more.
Now... fellow chess.com'ers let this game begin.
I BECAME A cheater BECAUSE...