Kamsky's flashback-
Childhood coach: Don't move until you see it.
Kamsky: 1. e4
Childhood coach: Correct, 1. e4 and white wins.
Picture Caption Contest #2
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"Check, please."
Kamsky: "Look, it's a dog with a puffy tail!"
Gata: Yeah, I know I have mate in 58 but please... be quiet, I still need to make my first move after I have some tea.
Neither player could believe they'd forgotten it was dress-down Friday.
May 14, 2008
0
#108
Kamsky: Hey, when do we start?
Svidler: Man, I hope the ink in these pens is washable!
OR (my sister's idea)
Kamsky: Hey Arbiter! Pete's got this disgusting wart on his thumb!!!
May 14, 2008
0
#109
Sorry about how when I hit "enter" it doesn't take it. The spaces are there in the "Post your reply" box, but they go away when I click "Submit".
Darthstapler8 wrote:
Svidler, thinking: "Okay, if he tries the Ruy Lopez, I'll play the Keres variation, and I've prepared a novelty on move 29, if he tries cxb4, I'll play Ng4! and win a pawn. This has to work, I've been preparing this line for months!"
Kamsky, thinking: "I wonder what I'll play. Maybe the Grob."
I like this one 
it really made me laugh 
gata kamsky:
the last time this guy had a manicure was last years tournament, his finger is disgusting.
peter svildor:
i knew my finger would disgust him, now i can press the clock quitly and finish his time...
hohahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
May 14, 2008
0
#112
Svidler : Check Kamsky
Kamsky : Check ... where
Svidler : On the board ... your in check!!!!
Kamsky: Oh Sorry I thought you were using a mobile phone.
May 14, 2008
0
#113
Pre-match trash talk between Grandmasters:
Svidler: Hey Gata, that tie looks ridiculous. Your sister dress you this morning?
Kamsky: No, Pete… it was your mother. In fact, look, there she is on TV again!
Svidler: If your chess is as bad as your jokes, you’ll have your thumb up your a__ in 10 moves.
Kamsky: Sigh… looks like you just pulled yours out from our last game.
Svidler: I would never put my thumb up your a__, Gata.
Kamsky: NO! NO! Out of your own! NOT MINE!
Svidler: Uh huh… sure. I know how you are. You were daydreaming of my thumb.
Kamsky: Just play! Get on with it!
Svidler: It’s your move.
Kamsky [thinking]: ...what is this guy doing with his right thumb?
[Aloud]: "Excuse me, judge? My opponent needs a tootsie roll pop, and perhaps some kleenex?"
"Do you bite your thumb at me, sir?"
Kamsky: That guy in the second row has quite the moustache!
Svidler: *pssht* Move in, Comrades. The enemy has located the spy camera. *pssht*
OPTIONAL ENDING
Kamsky: Oh no!
*He presses the little green button on the side of his chair and blasts through the roof*
Kamsky: Thank goodness for the secret service!
(Don't worry, I'm not insinuating all, or any, russians are communist spies. It just seemed like a good idea for a joke.)
Svidler: Is that the meaning of life imprinted on my thumb?
Kamsky: Pre-game nerves, my man!
Svidler: Yeah, you're probably right. Still...
tournament organizer: Mr. Kamsky, your mother on the phone... Do I tell her to wait???
Svidler ( thinking ): damn! the call was for me...