Picture Caption Contest #3

blue tie: gosh, Kasparov's coming!..

red tie: easy, easy. I'll put this pawn here so you'll be one move ahead, maybe he won't notice.

Kramnik: I'd say it's about 22 paces to the bathroom.

Red Tie: It's easily more than 25 paces. I'll bet ya 30,000 Rub... oh wait.. Kirsan's coming back.

1) Man with red tie: The US government is prepared to give you two million dollars if you throw this match.

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2) Man with red tie: Tha's right, just keep lookin' over there. Act as if I'm not even here, a'right? Now, here's what ya gotta do.

Kramnik: I'm listening.

Man with red tie: And don' try anything funny, mind. Last guy did that still hasn't found his walking legs. And I don't mean he suffers from vertigo. You catch my drift?

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 3) Man with red tie: If you lose this match, Wang here will kill you. Good luck!

Man with red tie: LOOK A DISTRACTION TO DISTRACT YOU WHILE I TAKE YOUR PIECE!

Kramnik: Hmm?

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Man with red tie: (whispers) Hey look, erik's giving a free month of chess mentor in a picture caption contest!

Kramnik: (whispers) Hmm. I think i'll try to win, I could use one of those.

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Man with red tie: Kramnik, It is my highly professional opinion that you quit this staring contest, you're going to lose.

Kramnik: That cat's about to blink, I know it!

Guy in the background :

Gee, that lobotomy scar is healing up just fine. 

guy in red tie: "alright Kramnik u got this game!"

opponent(not in pic): "uh um wait! dont look! uh my queen is naked!"

kramnik: oh God *looks away* forgive me..i..i didnt realize

guy in red tie: "WHAT ARE YOU DOING KRAMNIK!?"

asian in the back thinking: *Ooh ho ho naked queen??*

kramnik:"uh.. well.. you know, it would be rude to stare"

guy in red tie:"DAMN IT KRAMNIK! all that mating you've done over the chessboard and your worried about this??"

                                 Kramnik vs opponent (0-1)

 guy in red tie:*^%$%....

1)  red tie "what the *&**! are you ignoring me?"

     blue tie "did ummm one of you-a people said someting?"

2) red tie "dammit kramnik u shudve taken the pawn on e4!!"

    blue tie "ahh... sighh... i hate blind chess" 

3) blue tie thinking "hmmm why is this guy touching my board? ....i wonder what fisher wudve done?" 

 Hahaha.

Guy in background:  "Mmm, nice azz!"

Red Tie: "The bird crapped right here."

Blue Tie: "Wonder if anyone will notice that my coat sleeve has 4,000 buttons." 

"I shall eat his soul....."

I think anyone saying it is appropriate.  

#1
Kramnik: PC load letter?
Red tie: What the???

#2
Red tie: Here you go, how’s that? That better? How about now?
Kramnik: A little to the left… down a bit… yes right there. Harder… put your arm into it. Ah much better.
Man in back (contemplating): Why does everyone think I am Chinese?

#3
Kramnik and red tie: Hey Kamsky, you punk! What are you looking at!? You got a problem? You want some? Why don’t you and Thumbelina over there meet us outside.

2 

Red Tie : Kramnik your car was just clamped

Kramnik : wot how much is it

Black Tie : $6,000.

Red Tie : So you must win this tounament 

"D4?  Didn't we agree that you would play the Bongcloud?  Kramnik, are you ignoring me?"

Red tie..."Pay attention! d4 is much better!"

Kramnik..." God! If I could just lose this tool I'd get some real action."

Black tie in background..."Nice tail!"

Red tie..."Pay attention! d4 is much better!"

Kramnik..." God! If I could just lose this tool I'd get some real action."

Black tie in background..."Nice tail!"

 "Are you listening Mr.Kramnik? 1:d5 it's illegal for you too!"