Drunk Chess
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Alongside bullet, blitz, etc. Chess.com ought to introduce chess for drunk people. So you would be matched with opponents who had had the same number of drinks as you. Not sure how to keep people from cheating by being sober, might have to be an honor system. That way I could avoid losing so badly on the, ahem, rare occasions I've had an ale or two and get an urge to play online chess...
Could also work as a handicap system.