How to get the "best move" every time

I am wondering if anyone can write out a guide on what kind of moves are considered the best in order of priority or what moves to choose when there is no obvious attack available. I am analysing my games and when I make a "great move" there is always another one that is considered "best move" but these are sometimes hard to figure out why they are the best move. 

-Some things I have noticed for example instead of advancing pawns, it suggests putting the rook aligned with the king or queen when there are a ton of pieces in the way so I guess for in the future it buys you tempo for when you discovered attack. 

-Breaking my own defensive structure to attack a piece for the sake of attacking it, considered the best move by the engine when I feel it is better to keep my pawn structure. 

-Trading off Queens always if available - why is this better? (aside from removing castling rights)

- Pointlessly checking the king , why is it always best to check the king instead of moving pieces towards a checkmate plan.

- Pushing up an A or H pawn for no apparent reason

What I am after is a list of things like this and the priority they should be in in order to achieve the best move. Something like below if you can, it might seem obvious but I can't find anything on what the engine is looking for when it is calculating the best move. Please edit, add and reorder. 

Top Priority
1. Checking king just for sake of checking, easily countered, but still the best move? 
2. Capturing a piece without being recaptured
3. Trading pieces where I have the last take
4. Complete development of both knights and bishops
5. Castling
6. Moving a piece to a position where a fork can happen on next move
7. Moving a piece to a position where it pins a piece to a piece that has a higher value
8. Closing a pawn chain or triangle
9. Making a move to damage their pawn structure with equal trades
10. Moving a rook to align with King or Queen even if pieces in the way
11. Move rook to 7th rank 
Lower Priority

Thats my point sometimes the engine is like check the king for no reason but I want to establish a list of tactics in order of priority that are the best moves

Use a brute force 18-ply chess engine to get best move everything. Not recommended for cheating. Practice your games against such AI and remember the lines of moves as you practice. The AI may take quite a lot of time to do a complete brute force.

How about:

Stop trying to play like an engine.

Try playing like a Human instead.