TurtleAlex

Fun Quotes:

"Cowards, cowards, cowards! Here I am! I will kill everyone inside!" - Haunted stove of Zaragoza

"You need not trouble, the diameter is just 6 inches." - Haunted stove of Zaragoza

"I don't know what effect these men will have upon the enemy, but, by God, they frighten me." - Field Marshal Arthur Wellesley, 1st Duke of Wellington

"We call ourselves the Sixth Panzer Army because we’ve only got six Panzers left." - SS-Oberst-Gruppenführer Josef Dietrich

"If you find yourself alone and see a Zero at the same altitude as you, consider yourself outnumbered and go home." - Joe Foss

345 BCE -

Philip of Macedon: "You are advised to submit without further delay, for if I bring my army into your land, I will destroy your farms, slay your people, and raze your city."

Spartans: "If."

"War does not determine who is right - only who is left." - Bertrand Russell

"I cannot describe the bitterness and fury with which our soldiers marched against the German poisoners. Strong rifle and machine-gun fire, densely bursting shrapnel could not stop the onslaught of enraged soldiers. Exhausted, poisoned, they charged with the sole purpose of crushing the Germans. There were no laggards, one had to rush. There were no individual heroes here, the companies marched as one person animated by only one goal, one thought: to die, but to take revenge on the vile poisoners." - Władysław Strzemiński (about the Attack of the Dead Men)

"To fly is just like swimming. You do not forget easily. I have been on the ground for more than ten years. If I close my eyes, however, I can still feel the stick in my right hand, the throttle in my left, the rudder bar beneath my feet. I can sense the freedom and cleanliness and and all the things which a pilot knows." - Saburō Sakai

Major General Woldemar Hägglund: Kestääkö Kollaa?

Lieutenant Aarne Juutilainen: Kollaa Kestää!

"Practice." - Simo Häyhä

"Aeroplanes are interesting toys but of no military value." - Ferdinand Foch

"We shall take as many of them with us as we can." - Lt. Thomas Wilkinson

"That's impossible! The Americans only know how to make razor blades!" - Hermann Göring

"Equip my wing with Spitfires." - Lt. Gen. Adolf Galland

(In the Battle of Britain, BF-109 fighters were relegated to defending the slow bombers, and they were sitting ducks to the Spitfires which were much better at low speeds. Once Galland met Göring who lectured him on how his airmen were cowards, useless and more. When Göring asked what he needed to beat the British Spitfires, he bluntly stated what is mentioned above.)

"No German would fight a war like that. It's got to be three stupid paratroopers." - Jake McNiece

"Ik val aan, volgt mij." - Schout-bij-nacht Karel Willem Doorman

"This brave man, so filled with love for his country that he finds it difficult to die, is calling out to his friends and about to die." - Lt. Hiroshi Kuroki

[He was one of the two Kaiten designers along with Lt. Sekio Nishina and wrote this death poem when he went for a Kaiten practice sail, and it malfunctioned, plunged down to the ocean floor in the bad weather, and took him with it. The Kaiten was found 10 hours later, with Kuroki dead of oxygen deprivation. The above death poem (jisei) was also found with his remains.]

"I have no words to apologise for what happened. I only wish for a stronger Japanese navy." - Rear Adm. Tamon Yamaguchi
[This message was delivered to Adm. Chūichi Nagumo on the request of Rear Adm. Tamon Yamaguchi after he ordered his crew to abandon the Hiryū. Another message was sent to a nearby destroyer division, the destroyer Makigumo scuttled the Hiryū with a torpedo. Despite Yamaguchi's orders, Captain Tomeo Kaku also chose to go down with the ship.]

"The German soldier has astonished the world, the Italian Bersagliere has astonished the German soldier." - Generalfeldmarschall Erwin Rommel

"I offer neither pay, nor quarters, nor provisions;  I offer hunger, thirst, forced marches, battles and death.  Let him who loves his country in his heart and not with lips only follow me." - Giuseppe Garibaldi

"Jun-chan, welcome back. I never dreamed we would meet again like this. You were subjected to such cruelty, weren't you? You went through so much, didn't you? I'm upset with myself that I went on living, unaware of what was happening. You were always so gentle and cheerful, Jun-chan. The happi we made for the cultural festival looked wonderful on you. I'll never forget that. We will absolutely not let Jun-chan's death be in vain. As we step into adulthood, we'll strive for a world where such heinous crimes no longer exist. We'll do our best, keeping Jun-chan in our hearts and pushing forward. The principal even brought your diploma. Thanks to this, all 47 of us in Class 3-8 were able to graduate. Jun-chan... there's no more pain or suffering now. Rest peacefully. Farewell, Jun-chan." - Eulogy of Junko Furuta

"You can kill ten of my men for every one I kill of yours. But even at those odds, you will lose and I will win." - Ho Chi Minh (to French colonialists in 1946)

"[I hope] the country will be taken over by the military—they'll close down all the synagogues, arrest all the Jews, execute hundreds of thousands of Jewish ringleaders." - Robert James Fischer (to Bombo Radyo on the 9/11 terrorist attacks)

"Kill all captives." - Prince Yasuhiko Asaka (As the commander of Japanese troops near Nanjing, he began the Nanjing Massacre)

"The only reason a warrior is alive is to fight, and the only reason a warrior fights is to win. Otherwise, why be a warrior? It is easier to count beads." - Miyamoto Musashi

"It gave me a feeling of powerlessness to sit there watching it travel on and not be able to stop it." - Flying Officer Kenneth Roy Collier (about the day he wing-tipped a V-1 flying bomb)

"Damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead!" - Adm. David Farragut

"The reason the American Army does so well in wartime, is that war is chaos, and the American Army practices it on a daily basis." - Post-war debriefing of a German general

"When catapults are outlawed, only outlaws will have catapults."

Pearl Harbour Radio Operator: "Is there anything that we can provide?"
Rear Adm. Winfield Cunningham (on Wake Island): "Send us more Japs!"

"The best tank terrain is that without anti-tank weapons." - Soviet tank doctrine

"Do not touch anything unnecessarily. Beware of pretty girls in dance halls and parks who may be spies, as well as bicycles, revolvers, uniforms, arms, dead horses, and men lying on roads — they are not there accidentally." - Soviet infantry manual, 1930s

Jokes:

1] When a silver aeroplane flies over, it's American. When there's a green plane, it's British. When there are no aircraft, that's the Luftwaffe.
This is from the end of the war, and it implies that the Luftwaffe doesn't exist anymore.

2] When a clock goes forward it goes 'tic-tac' - but when Rommel goes backwards, it's tactic.

3] Hitler and Göring are standing atop the Berlin radio tower. Hitler says he wants to do something to put a smile on Berliners' faces. So Göring says: 'Why don't you jump?'

(Reportedly a German factory worker was executed for this one)

4] Hitler visits the front and talks to a soldier. Hitler asks: "Friend, when you are in the front line under artillery fire, what do you wish for?" The soldier replies: "That you, my Führer, stand next to me!"

5] If you face an enemy and want to know what country they are from, send a volley towards them. If you are greeted by precise rifle fire, they are British, if you are raked by machine gun fire, they are German, if you hear a ‘Hurra’ and get charged by a mass of men, they are Soviet, if you hear a ‘Banzai!’ and get charged by a mass of men, they are Japanese, and if nothing happens for minutes and then your position gets leveled by artillery and air bombardment, they are American.

6] A British flier is shot down over German-occupied France. He survives his combat but seriously injured. The German doctor has to amputate one of his legs. The British flier asks the doctor, "After you take off my leg, can you have one of your bombers drop it over England on their next raid?" The doctor thinks this a strange request but agrees to it. A few days later, they have to amputate his other leg. The British flier makes the same request, and the Germans agree. Then they have to take off an arm, and the flier makes the same request. Again, the Germans comply and drop his arm over England. Finally, they have to amputate his other arm and the flier makes the same request. The camp Kommandant interjects: "Nein! Ve cannot do zis! Ve suspekt you are trying to escape!"

7] The definition of an ideal war = German weapons + Russian winter equipment + British summer equipment + American rations + French entertainment + Finns guarding your flanks + Italians as foes.

Poems:

Should I run and hide in my friend's home? On Zhang Jian muse I.
Till death I long for myr'ad Du Gen's to rise and loudly cry.
Let the sword fall on my neck, I am laughing at the sky –
I leave my Loyalty and Justice, twin-Kunluns, behind!
- Tan Sitong

"Thoughts on the Precipice" by Misao Fujimura

How immense the universe is! 

How eternal history is! 

I wanted to measure the immensity with this puny five-foot body. 

What authority has Horatio's philosophy? 

The true nature of the whole creation. 

Is in one word – "unfathomable". 

With this regret, I am determined to die. 

Standing on a rock on the top of a waterfall. 

I have no anxiety. 

I recognize for the first time. 

Great pessimism is nothing but great optimism.