I can travel through time, I regularly associate with foreign heads of state and billionaires, I can walk through walls like the Kool-Aid Man, and I enjoy the lyrical stylings of Vanilla Ice. Also, I'm a veteran of both World Wars, the War On Drugs, and "The War at Home" (2005 - 2007). Billy Mays of "OxiClean" fame is my idol.
Oh, and I hate chess; in my book, the only games worth playing are Yahtzee and Cranium. Now THOSE are games meant for the "thinking man."